Author Archives: Holly Spence

“To Retake or Not Retake” – William Shakespeare’s Cousin

We’ve all been there at one time or another – whether in school, at work, at home, or in a wide range of activities – we have all (gulp) underperformed.  Take a deep breath – it happens. In fact, the last time you underperformed was probably not your first time either. It’s probably happened to your parents on numerous occasions.  I’ll bet it’s even happened to your peers at school, although you are far less likely to hear about those instances. 

 

Don’t worry – nobody is immune.  In high school, it happens to millions of students around the country, let’s say every four Saturdays, give or take.  

 

Of course, I am referring to the SAT and the ACT.  At some point during your high school tenure, it is incredibly likely that you will take one of these exams.  It is nearly as likely that you will take your chosen exam more than once.  There is even a chance you will consider taking it three times (or more) or perhaps trying both exams. 

 

One of the most common questions directed at counselors, tutors, and teachers is “Should I take it again?” While the answer will vary depending on each student’s specific academic situation, personality, worth ethic, and long-term goals, it is an important decision and one that should be arrived at after careful consideration and discussion with your counselor and parents.

 

At Insight, the first goal is to help you identify whether the SAT or ACT is the better test for you.  They are different in a number of ways, from length to style to presentation to the actual material.  We encourage you to take a practice test of each before doing anything (and perhaps repeating this process). If you find you are more comfortable and can score higher on one test over the other, that’s wonderful.  If you aren’t sure, take them again to reinforce your initial opinion.  No college prefers the SAT to the ACT or vice versa.  I promise!

 

Once you have prepared over a period of months, you approach the actual test day with confidence and poise. We offer SAT and ACT classes throughout the year to help students learn the skills and knowledge to perform well on test day and continue to take practice exams to improve speed and accuracy.  You breathe a sigh of relief when finished. And then when your scores arrive a few weeks after, you have a decision to make. If you hit your goal score, already established with your counselor, then hopefully you can consider yourself done. 

 

It’s common for students to feel doubt about their results or falling just short.  I can’t tell you how many times I have heard, “I want to take it once more because I know I can score 10 or 20 points higher.” Is the effort and time required to prepare all over again worth 20 points?  Perhaps, depending on the college, but if it’s going to come at the expense of your grades, your time with organized activities, your applications, or your mental health, then I would say probably not, depending on how close you came to your goal. 

 

Many students will ask if colleges care how many times you take the SAT and/or ACT.  While the answer will again be tied into your specific experience, know that some colleges may place more value on your standardized test scores than others.  Also know that while many colleges will allow score choice, in which you only report the test results you choose, there are a growing number of schools, including the UCs, that will want you to send them every SAT or ACT that you have taken. While they will place most emphasis on your single best score, putting yourself in the best position to succeed through careful planning is crucial in order to effectively communicating the most beneficial information to the college of your choice. 

 

Many students do succeed taking tests two or three times and show considerable improvement over time, sometimes even raising scores by a few hundred points!  But if you’re thinking of trying the SAT or ACT a fourth or even fifth time, go find your favorite board game, roll the dice, and immediately move back three spaces.  It’s not necessary at that point and there will better ways to continue to build your credentials. 

 

 Insight counselors work with students every single day in this important area and based on your profile, your ambitions, and your tendencies, we will guide you to make the choice that allows you to convey the very best version of yourself to colleges.

 

Keep studying, work hard, sign up for a class, and consult the people you trust for advice.  And remember, at the end of the day, although it doesn’t feel like it in the moment, it’s only a test.

 

An Insight to MIT: Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Recently, we had the pleasure of taking the undergraduate tour at MIT in Boston. Here are some interesting things we learned during our visit!  

 

Your Application Essays: Don’t fall into the Grandma Trap

This is what the admissions rep called writing about your grandma in the “who has inspired you or had a big impact on your life essay”. While it may be true that your grandma has inspired you, for many students, this becomes the “fallback” response. Once you’ve picked the person, talk about them for 25% of the essay. Talk about YOURSELF for the other 75%. You’re going to college, not grandma! Always bring the essay back to you and how the influence and impact this person had on you has changed YOUR life.

 

The biggest point the rep made was don’t provide a “capsule” experience in your essay! Tell the committee how whatever you are writing about has changed your life and how it relates to who you are now.

 

Yes, MIT care about Math and Science on your Transcript

Colleges look at different things on your transcripts, and MIT is very transparent that they want to see rigorous math and science courses on yours. Students getting a 700 and above for SAT Math 2 is very common. MIT doesn’t prefer the ACT over the SAT, so take whatever you are more comfortable with. The admissions rep did make sure to note that while the standardized tests are important, MIT does take a holistic view of your application.

 

Your Extracurricular Activities

You can list 4 activities in your MIT app, and they want to see quality over quantity! Communicate how you engage in an activity and why you picked that for 3+ years of your life. There is a special section to list your summer activities. 

 

Your Admissions Interview

They will ask you why you’re interested in science and technology. They will ask how you see science and technology shaping your life, and what you want to do with it. A common interview question is “if you had unlimited time and funds, what would you do?” so prepare for that one!

75% of the interview will be about you, and 25% of it will be allotted to asking your interviewer questions – use that time! A great question you can ask is “did you engage in research during your time at MIT?” and “What is one thing you wish you had taken part in during your time at MIT”.

 

Classes at MIT

The average class size is 25 people. Freshman year has larger lecture-style classes, as you work through the years it becomes smaller. Professors at MIT try to be very accessible to you and offer a lot of office hours. The student to faculty ratio at MIT aims to be 12:1

 

The Campus Tour

MIT offers guaranteed housing for all 4 years of your undergrad study. There are currently 10 dorms, 5 of which have food halls in them. Each dorm has a different style: one has a ball put, Baker dorm is often where the athletics students live as it’s close to their early morning training locations, the East campus allows cats, there is a female only dorm and a dorm for single rooms.

 

Students are assigned housing based on a lottery. Students will be invited to list their dorm preferences during the summer before first semester, and will usually get their first or second choice of housing. During the first week on campus, students can apply to change dorms.

The Great Dome 

 

Fun MIT Facts!

– Completing a 100-yard swim is a graduation requirement for MIT undergraduate students

– You can also get a Pirate Certificate at MIT! Students who have completed Archery, Fencing, Pistol (or Rifle) and Sailing can get their Pirate certificate.

– The MIT Nano building is in the works. This will be an advanced research facility open to the entire MIT community. The goal of the building is to collaborate between groups of MIT students and faculty and accelerate the research opportunities at MIT. Check out more information on the building here. 

– There is a camera in one of the cafes in the Stata building on campus that has a camera connected to a café in Stanford University, California. This is designed so MIT students who have friends at Stanford can have a meal together!

– “Hacking” is a big tradition at MIT. This is when students play practical jokes/ pranks throughout campus. A great one to read about is the police car on the great dome in 1994.

– Sandbox is a program at MIT that provides funding for student ideas, no matter how big or small! 85% of Sandbox applicants get approved for funding. Find out more here.  

 

The Stata Building

You got into College! Now what?

You are opening those fat envelopes (or rather, you are clicking on the portal!) and finding out where you got into college. It’s an emotional time, all that work and time you spent the last six months completing college applications is now coming to fruition. 

 

So what do you do now that you’ve been accepted?

 

Firstly, you need to decide what school you are going to attend and SIR to ONE school by May 1st. What does SIR stand for? It is your “Statement of Intent to Register”—meaning you are accepting the offer the school has given you and you are planning to attend that school. 

 

This also means that you will put down a non-refundable deposit to hold your place at the school.  If you decide to accept a waitlist offer after you have SIR-ed and put down a deposit, you will need to inform the school you plan to attend a different school and you will lose your deposit.

 

Keep checking your chosen school’s portal. Along with accepting the offer, you need to make sure you accept/decline any scholarship or loan offers to you as well.  You also need to make your housing choices, know when you can log in to register for classes, sign up for freshman orientation…lots of small to-do items that you need to get done to successfully enter your first fall semester of college.

 

You may also have the opportunity to visit your new college in the spring before your starting date, so keep an eye out for information on that and plan accordingly! 

 

High school is not over yet! You still have to complete your finals and pass your classes.  Colleges can rescind your offer if you fail your senior year classes. Or you will have to spend time making up some classes during the summer. You definitely don’t want to spend the summer before college feeling stressed about making up a class, so keep up the hard work now! 

 

Spend time with your family and friends. For many of you, this may be the last time you live in your hometown.  The next four years (or more) are life changing.  You may not move back to your hometown after college, so take the time to enjoy your favorite places with your favorite people!

 

Learn some basic living skills if you don’t already have them. You should know how to do your laundry (work a washer and a dryer).  Learn to cook an easy meal using a microwave or even a stove/oven.  Most of you will have access to a shared kitchen, even in the dorms, and homemade chocolate chip cookies will help make lots of friends!

 

College is an amazing place and you will meet people who will become life-long friends and mentors in your life and career. Remember that everyone is feeling the same way as you; they are in a new place, starting a new chapter in their lives, so start conversations, have lunch with someone new and have fun! 

 

All the best, 

Team Insight 

The Secret Code: How to Study Computer Science without Majoring in Computer Science

It’s no secret that computer science is one of the hottest (and hardest to get into majors!) around these days. Here are some recent examples of how difficult undergraduate CS admissions is becoming:

 

– For the Fall 2017 admissions cycle, University of Illinois Urbana Champaign had more than 4,300 applications for their CS’s program’s approximately 215 seats.

– Think things were the same when your older relative applied as a CS major? Think again! According to the Computing Research Association, the number of CIS majors has more than doubled since 2011, and more than tripled since 2006.

 

As Computer Science grows more competitive, candidates for the major are being held to an increasingly high standard.

 

That said if you’re a student who’s interested in computer science (but not 100% sure if it’s the right major!) or want to maximize your chances of admission to a top-tier university, you may want to consider some of these alternative majors instead.

 

But just how big of a difference is there between the admit rates for CS majors and ‘sister’ majors?

 

Well, among admitted UCLA transfer students for Fall 2016, requirements were considerably more forgiving for students studying alternative majors to CS.

 

 

Applying to an alternate major can give students a complementary skill set, and often increase their odds of acceptance to universities where CS spots are limited. However, before you commit to an alternate major, consider the following:

 

A. What percent/how many CS classes do students take with this major?

B. What are the career prospects for this major- and how do they differ from a traditional CS degree?

C. Will you be attending a school where you can minor in CS?

 

Discovering the best alternative major only takes two simple steps:

 

1. Really examine: what draws you to computer science? Do you live to code, are you simply generally fascinated by all STEM subjects, or is there some other reason that draws you to CS?

Making this distinction is helpful. If you’re a true CS whiz and studying anything less wouldn’t cut it, then own this – and let that certainty guide your college search. And if not, you’ll have many excellent options to learn all about computers and technology without being a traditional CS major.

 

2. Tap into you other passions! By choosing a major that combines CS with your other passions, you can greatly expand your major options- see chart below.

Ultimately, by thinking outside the box and considering alternative majors, you’ll gain even more exciting and unique opportunities in a rapidly evolving field.

 

Curious about one of the majors listed in this chart? Learn more about it with the College Board’s excellent major search tool!

 

Acceptances are in, Now you Must Choose

College decisions are out. Finally! While this year has been really hard on some students, the good news is students still have choices to make when it comes to deciding their next step. And choice is always a good thing! I tell my students that it is the best problem to have.

 

While it can often be confusing to decide which college is best, going through this decision-making process is an important one. You have until May 1 to make your final decision, so use this month wisely!

 

Here are some tips to help you find the best fit for you:

 

–  Visit every school that you are considering if you can. Many schools will host admitted-student events that can span a few hours or a weekend. Try to attend these sessions, as the school has planned it to give you a better glimpse into the campus. You may be able to sit in on classes, sleepover in a dorm, eat lunch with current students and talk to professors. And when you go, come armed with all your questions and concerns. No one is going to take back an offer because you asked a tough question. If you have doubts, don’t hesitate to share them. Visiting is important because you will also get to meet future classmates and friends. And most importantly when you visit, pay attention to your instincts.

 

–  Look through the course catalog. Now that you are in, you should really dive into what your academic experience is going to be. Check out the classes you will be required to take, as well as other courses you might take out of interest. Look at the size of classes and your ability to interact with faculty. Try to gauge if classes are interactive and discussion-based or lecture-based. And you absolutely want to consider the ease with which you can enroll in courses. Students at the larger public schools find that in the first two years, getting their desired courses can be challenging. Students at smaller schools have the option of trying out courses before committing for the term.

 

– Explore student life. While academics are important, you have to also consider what life will look like outside of the classroom. If you plan to get involved in specific activities, check out their availability now. If sororities or fraternities are a priority for you, find out what role they play on each campus. If you absolutely want to continue playing a sport — either intramural or intercollegiate — check out the offerings. If you cannot imagine your life without school spirit, look at what types of opportunities the school provides. These extracurricular pursuits are more than fun and games. These are opportunities where you will get to engage with others, work on teams, improve your leadership, and potentially have experiences that future employers will review.

 

–  Money matters. While your parents may be ready to pay for tuition wherever you go or you have gotten scholarships or loans to cover your costs, money still matters. College is an investment and you want to spend wisely. Look at all your financial aid offers. Consider how long you should plan to spend at schools. Not everyone graduates in four years; in fact, five years is what we tell our families to plan for if they are considering the University of California or California State University schools. That extra year includes another year of tuition and housing, and it also means a year of lost income. When you factor everything in, the cost of a public school often is not significantly less than that of a private school. And remember that loans are not free money. You have to pay them back, with interest. You don’t want to stress out about money while you are in school, so think carefully.

 

You can create lists of pros and cons. You can ask everyone you know to weigh in on the decision. You can even flip a coin. But at the end of the day you’ll have to pick the school that felt the best — the one where you feel you can be most successful and happy, where you connected with the staff and your future classmates, where you got excited about the opportunities and cannot wait to start, where you feel you’ll be best prepared for the future.

 

In one short month, your admissions journey will be over. But then the real fun can begin.

Waitlisted? The Admissions Waiting Game Continues

We look forward to this time of year every year — the time when college decisions are released. It marks years of hard work. It also brings with it hope for the future and a new beginning. And while we celebrate acceptances and grieve denials, many don’t know how to react to getting waitlisted.

 

This is mainly because most don’t understand what the waitlist means and also because students are truly just tired of waiting any longer. A waitlist offer tends to conjure more disappointment than hope. Many students take this to mean that they fell short or that they are a college’s second, third or 40th choice.

 

But what does being offered a position on the waitlist mean?

 

Colleges have limited seats available and so admissions officers are forced to make choices. When they are offering you a waitlist position, they are sending you the message that they think you are a great fit for the class and your accomplishments have not gone unnoticed. You would be a fantastic addition to the campus, but they need to see how many admitted students will accept their offers of admissions before they pull students off the waitlist.

 

Most waitlists are unranked. Colleges are not lying when they say that. It is not some ploy to appease you. Remember that admissions officers are trying to build a well-rounded class. Once the college receives the decisions from its admitted students, they then go through the waitlist to see which students would best complement the incoming class.

 

At this point, they may also need to evaluate the financial aid it has available to offer students. Accordingly, they will admit students off the waitlist in small batches, offering more spots as they become available. This process is usually complete no later than June, but in very rare situations I have seen students get offered a position off the waitlist in early August.

 

It may sound like the college has all the power in this situation. But you do not need to just comply and play the waiting game. Think clearly about whether or not the school or schools that offered you waitlist positions are among your top choices. You are not obligated to accept the position. If it is not a school you would seriously consider, politely turn it down and give another student a chance. Collecting admissions offers is not the goal of the admissions process.

 

If you do want to stay on the waitlist, you will likely not get a decision back until after the May 1 deadline to accept an offer of admission. This means you must decide among the colleges that accepted you where you will attend. Do not rely on the waitlist. It is completely unpredictable how many students will be offered spots off the list. It can vary from 0 to 300 depending on the college and the year.

 

While you wait, be excited about your other prospects. Do your due diligence. Visit colleges. Talk to current students. Get engaged with the school you accept. Chances are strong that the college where you submit your Intent to Register is where you will be come fall.

 

If you are accepted from the waitlist, you will likely have very little time to make a decision. If you decide to accept, you will need to first withdraw your Intent to Register from the school you accepted. Chances are your family will lose the deposit. It is a very easy process and it happens every year. You are not violating any agreements or laws.

 

Most students prefer the black and white of an acceptance or denial, but I always cheer for a waitlist. It’s still an accomplishment and should not be viewed as any less. Try not to dwell on the fact that you have to wait. Focus on the positives — you are going to college! What you have been working so hard for during the past several years is right in front of you. Enjoy this moment and savor it. It’s a time in your life like no other. 

 

If you need advice or would like to talk to a college admissions counselor, contact us at info@insight-education.net today! 

 

All the very best, 

Team Insight 

How to Make the Most of your Spring College Visits

One of the most exciting parts of applying to colleges is visiting those colleges that you’d really love to attend. While it can be tricky to visit colleges that are far away, there are often plenty of great in-state options to check out and make a day trip to. No matter which college you are visiting, there are some secrets to ensuring you make the most out of the visit.

 

Our two top tips: Plan ahead, and be confident!

 

Many colleges offer guided tours, but you’ll need to know what time they start and where they meet before you step foot on campus so you can plan your day accordingly. Usually, your college name + “college tour” or “visit” typed into google will pull up all the information you need to figure out what tour works for you. Also pay attention to what the tours cover, as some will be a little more “touristy” (Eg. Show the outside of buildings) while others are more suited to prospective students.

 

You may also be able to attend a class during your visit, but will only know that you can do this if you plan ahead and arrange your schedule to do so. Think about which classes will be closest to what you’ll actually take if you end up attending this college, and start there. Not all classes will be open to attend, so make sure you double check! Call up the college information desk and they will be able to guide you. If you do get to attend a class, make sure you take lots of notes – treat it like you’re a student in the class!

 

Write a list of all the questions you have and things you want to know. Things like ‘is there a cheap or free gym on campus for students’? ‘Where do students do their laundry’ (yes, you will have to do your own!). ‘How close is campus to the airport’ (if you’re going out-of-state) and ‘what is transport like to get there’? ‘Is there parking on campus if I need it’? Spend some time before you visit writing these all down in your phone or notebook. Even if you don’t get a chance to ask them all, having some questions to refer to will help on the day.  

 

Confidence is key when it comes to visiting colleges. Why? Because some of the best information you will get from your visit is from actual students attending the college. While it’s awesome to have a tour and talk with your tour guides (who are often students themselves), being able to talk to a student while you grab a coffee at the café may give you insights into college life that you wouldn’t have gotten otherwise.

 

The same goes for talking with faculty and staff. You may be able to schedule ahead of time to talk with a specific staff member you’re interested in meeting with, but you will also get some great information by talking to other staff during your visit. Remember is to ask the student or staff member if they have a moment to chat, rather than launching into your questions. Introduce yourself, mention that you’re on a college visit and ask if they’d be willing to answer your questions about *insert question here*. You’ll be surprised by how willing other students are to do so!

 

One thing to remember here is that if your parents are visiting the college with you, politely ask them to let you talk with students and staff on your own. It’s a great experience for you to do this yourself and shows faculty that you are confident and prepared for your college visit.

 

What are some other good tips?

 

Take photos! And not just photos for your Instagram story. Take photos of everything you find interesting and even the things you don’t. You’ll be surprised by how great it is to get to look back on all the small details of the college once you’ve returned home.

 

Write down your initial thoughts about the college, best done if you can do it on the same day as your visit. Write down the things you love, the things you aren’t sure about, and the things you didn’t like. Even if it doesn’t seem important to write “didn’t like the vegetarian lunch options at the café in the quad”, you may find that this nugget of information is more relevant when it comes time to decide which college you will be attending.  

 

Venture off campus! Check out things within walking distance to where you would be living like places to eat, grocery shop, parks, libraries, etc. Think about all the places you go at home, and try to find where they are in relation to the college. A good “walking score” for a college is important, or if the college is bike friendly, a “biking score”!  

 

Pick up all the brochures and information packets you can during the visit. It will be nice to be able to read back over them once you’re back home, and often they have contact details and other important pieces of information. A good thing to remember while you’re visiting is that you might not remember all your questions on the day. The more information you have to take home with you, the easier it will be to find those things out post-visit.

 

Most of all – enjoy yourself! Even if the college you visit isn’t the one you end up attending, it is a great experience to visit and see what’s out there. Make the most of it!

 

What’s the Deal with Delayed Admissions?

Recently, Georgia Institute of Technology began offering first-year applicants the opportunity to apply again as a transfer student to begin school in the fall of 2019. 

 

The offer is presented through Georgia Tech’s Arts and Sciences Pathway Program and may be given to applicants who were not admitted to the College of Design, the College of Liberal Arts, and the College of Sciences starting in fall of 2018.  Students who exercise this option must complete an online transfer application separate from their original application, and the offer is only valid for one year after beginning full-time college studies at another institution.

 

In other words, their offer cannot be extended and only applies for the fall semester one year after the student’s high school graduation year.  Students who exercise this option must complete a minimum of 30 transferable semester hours at a fully accredited college within the United States.  They are also expected to maintain at least a 3.3 cumulative GPA and a combined math and lab science GPA of 3.3 or higher as well.

 

The unusual approach by Georgia Tech is nonetheless part of an increasing trend among competitive universities in offering delayed admission to incoming freshman.  UC Berkeley, Cornell, BU, NYU, USC, Babson College, St. Louis University, Penn, Northeastern, University of Richmond, Harvard, & Yale have all, in one form or another, encouraged gap years, offered students the opportunity to reapply later, or deferred admission to the spring or the following fall.

 

Students take a gap year for a variety of reasons, including academic improvement, travel, volunteer opportunities, work, or in some cases simply to experience life, slow things down, and mature as individuals.  In the case of Georgia Tech, there are specific college requirements associated with their offer to be completed in the ensuing year by June 1st.

 

Is this offer or a similar offer right for you?  It could be, but maybe not. Every graduating senior eyes freshman year through a different lens and brings different concerns and experiences to the table. There are potential benefits and drawbacks to delaying the start of life on your preferred college campus. You can discuss this topic with your Insight counselor to determine if this approach is relatable to your goals and marks the best path to both short and long-term success. As always, we are here to help you! 

 

Continued success,

The Insight Team

Dealing with Rejection from your Top College Choice

You’ve opened the letter, read the email, visited the portal. The response is not what you were hoping for. You’re disappointed, and this is a very fair reaction.

 

Applying for colleges is a long and hard process, one that takes up a lot of your time both physically and mentally. Unfortunately, a lot of students feel that not getting into the top college of their choice is embarrassing or a reflection on them as a person. We want to make sure you know right away:

 

That is not the case.

 

The number of students applying to colleges is skyrocketing. UCLA had a 5.7% increase in freshman fall 2018 applications this year, and those numbers are similar across many college admissions departments. Colleges have a very tough job selecting students to join to their campus, and the hard truth is that they will have to send rejection letters to thousands of very deserving students. 

 

Do you know what the great news is?

 

You will get into plenty of other schools. You probably already have! You will get to open acceptance letters to some other truly great colleges and decide which of those is the best fit for you. It is important to remember that you still have some big decisions to make, and that come time to start at your new college, you will still feel just as excited stepping foot on to the campus you get to call home for the next little while.

 

For now, take some time to feel disappointed. Dealing with rejection is an important part of life as we grow up, and it is natural to feel sad when things don’t go the way you wanted. Give yourself a few days to feel those emotions, but make sure to talk it out with someone you trust (parents, siblings, friends or your guidance counselor are all great options). Practice some self-compassion. 

 

Most importantly, don’t dwell.

 

After a few days, it is important that you get back on track. You will be getting acceptance news, and when you do you will need to decide how you want to make your acceptance decisions. This will be a wonderful time and one that you have earned with all your hard work, so enjoy it and treasure the moment!

 

Waiting For Acceptance Letters Can Be An Emotional Roller Coaster

Parents, this one is for you.

 

Right now, your high school senior is on pins and needles waiting to hear back from colleges. They may have heard back from some already or are yet to receive a single decision. They may not express this to you, but their self-confidence is shaky. Emotionally, they are wrapping up their self-worth in these decisions that are trickling out. Their past 3½ half years, no, their whole life (in their opinion), is up for critical review and judgment by a set of strangers who will decide if they are good enough.

 

While rational adults know that college decisions are not at all indicative of worth, we have to recognize what your teen specifically might be feeling. So with that being said:

It is vital that you celebrate every, and I mean every single, acceptance that they receive. You might have a list of what you consider to be “suitable” colleges. They may early on get into what is considered their ‘safety schools’, the ones you let them apply to because the college counselors recommended it.

 

Even if you do not think you would ever send them to a given school, do not deride it in front of your teen. Every acceptance is a win. It is an indication that their hard work and effort are paying off. So bite your tongue if you must. Look for the good in the school. At the very least, congratulate your teen, give them a big hug, and tell them how proud you are of them. Anything short of that is a failure in their eyes. They are looking to you for support and acceptance as well. They want to know that their achievements are worthy.

 

By saying nothing or by minimizing any acceptance, your child’s anxiety will continue. More than just supporting them emotionally, the future is still a blank page. You don’t know where else they will get accepted. If it turns out that their options are limited to a few of their safety schools, you want them to still be excited about college. By degrading those choices now, choosing a college over the next few months is going to be exceptionally difficult — for everyone involved.

 

And if denials happen, you have to be equally, if not more, supportive. Explain to them that this denial is not a reflection of their hard work, but rather a reflection of the competitive admissions process. Talk to them about denials that you might have faced in your life and how you dealt with them. Explain that where they choose to go to college will not determine their life’s outcome.

 

Rationally, your teen will hear you and understand. Emotionally, they will still be hard on themselves. They will be sad, disappointed, angry, or withdrawn — perhaps some combination of these. They will think the world, at the very least colleges, are unfair. They will undoubtedly know someone that got into a particular school with a “lesser” application.

 

This is a huge parent opportunity for you. This is a time for you teach them to rise above the fray, to be happy for their friends, to be accepting of the decisions they have received. Never ever disparage a school or another student. Doing so does not actually make anything better. Rather it teaches your teen to be resentful. Let them know that it is OK to be upset. Let them know that you are there to support them no matter what. Let them know that in just a few short weeks, this decision will be a thing of the distant past. Focus on the positive — the acceptances they have received.

 

Undoubtedly this is a difficult time for you as well. You are preparing to send your baby off into the world. But you have been thinking about this moment, probably, for your child’s whole life. This, for them, is a new world that they have to learn to navigate and they need your love, support, and guidance along the way.

 

We wish you all the very best,

Team Insight